Tuning into Teens

Tuning into Teens and Tuning into Kids are popular, proven parenting programs developed in Melbourne by Mindful, with research trials conducted at The University of Melbourne and based on Parenting research by Professor John Gottman and colleagues.  Jane Maher is an accredited facilitator of these two programs.

At Evolving Roles, we run the Tuning Into Teens Emotion Coaching parenting programs especially for parents and carers of socially isolated teens including those on the Autism Spectrum. These parent groups are small in numbers (up to 7 parents) so that parent’s can build a mutually supportive group together guided by Jane. Each family’s needs can be closely and thoughtfully considered. This emphasis on mutual support means parents can break out of the isolation and the guilt or shame of feeling like they are the only ones struggling. Being a well trained group therapist (Psychodrama) Jane enables connections to grow and be deeply supportive.

Thanks Jane, You’ve been the lynchpin of our group, you brought an odd collection of us together, I feel connected to the world again and not ashamed of what our family is like. It is such a good feeling to get out of the isolation and shame. I really appreciate you making it happen, you’ve been the glue.

Mother of teen boys

Parents comment that the program alleviates their own isolation and there is relief in discovering that they don’t have to feel guilt or shame about themselves or their family life. Bonds can form through acknowledgment, acceptance and understanding of how difficult it can be to be a parent. We also celebrate the progress and the wins that arises out of the work together. So-called “mistakes” offer rich opportunities for growth and deeper mutual bonding.

Diversity in family experiences is also powerful in these groups. Insights into different family circumstances can generate new perspectives. Hard earned parenting wisdoms can be shared. The safety to share and process the not so glorious family moments develops. Humour emerges and enables more playful parenting. The development of greater family spontaneity and creative problem solving are key outcomes of these groups.

Develop ‘Emotion Coaching’ skills

Tuning Into Kids and Tuning Into Teens teaches you the skills of the Emotion Coaching style of parenting. This parenting approach promotes emotional intelligence and competence. Emotion Coaching is one of four parenting styles identified by Professor Gottman and colleagues. All parents use all styles. This approach coaches you to become an Emotion Coach with your teens more often. The research on this program has shown that you only need to Emotion Coach your teens 30-40% of the time to make a difference!!

Parents learn how to help their teens to self-regulate difficult feelings and to amplify the good times. Parents are taken through a series of activities to learn how to recognise, acknowledge, accept, validate, clarify, enquire and empathise with your child’s emotional experiences. This creates the conditions for teens to open up more, become more emotionally intelligent and competent. Research points to the importance of emotional intelligence in improving life outcomes. We are social beings and knowing our emotions helps us know what we want, how to communicate better and to connect better with others. The possibility of more good times together is enhanced.

Thanks Jane, You’ve been so supportive and calming. I would come into the group frazzled and guilt ridden and then feel myself decompress when I heard your voice and your trustworthy leadership.

Single mother of two

These empowering parental skills grow hand in hand with your teens also learning to name, acknowledge and understand their own and others emotional experiences. This is very protective, especially during adolescence when knowing what they are feeling can be inform good decision making, problem solving, choices. For example they would be less likely to get caught up in peer pressure and risk taking behaviour.

But it doesn’t stop there – acknowledging what it is we are feeling doesn’t mean accepting angry, aggressive behaviours. Parents in the Tuning Into Teens Programs learn to help their teens develop pro-social solutions to their difficult feelings and make more informed decisions and choices. Learning how to set limits is integral to the approach. Teens are often surprisingly hungry for better relationships with their parents and better quality communication is achieved through this approach. More quality times together can be achieved.

“Since attending Tuning Into Kids, I have been able to tailor my parenting skills to better assist both my daughters with expressing their emotional needs.

Mother with kids on the spectrum

Our parents report significant improvements in their family relationships, increased confidence in their parenting skills and stronger connection to, communication with and understanding of their children because of participating in this powerful program.

The program also results in such strong connections between participating parents that some groups chose to form an ongoing support group at the end of the program. The first of these met together monthly for over 4 years as their teens grew into their next developmental challenges.

When does the Tuning into Teens run?

We run the Tuning into Teens program most school terms. The program includes eight two-hour sessions. These sessions are currently being held online and after business hours.

Fees and Funding

2023 Fees	$AU ex GST
Tuning into Teens per session – 2 hrs	$55ph per parent per session
Pre-Group Family Therapy session per hour	Sliding scale $120-220ph

There are no funding or healthcare rebates available for participation in this program. Some parents have been authorised to use NDIS funding to do this program. We encourage you to pursue this option with your NDIS Local Area Coordinator or your Support Coordinator.

Parents can be more influential with their teens than they realise. Sometimes they can be the only people who their teen will accept input from. This program enables parents to feel more confident to parent effectively. When their teen refuses other therapeutic approaches they can be the only ones who can make a difference. This approach helps parents reach and connect with their teens.